Sadomasochism and anal sex

Sadomasochism is often misrepresented and misunderstood in mainstream culture; frequently, Sadomasochism is equated with whips and chains, violent abuse, and deviant behavior. In reality, Sadomasochism has nothing to do with abuse or force—it is a consensual exchange of power arousing to both partners that may or may not involve genital sex. Sadomasochism includes one partner who is referred to as the dominant or the top; this person is in charge of the encounter, or scene, taking an active role in directing the activities. The other partner, referred to as the submissive or the bottom, takes a receptive role in the scene. Both partners negotiate a scene beforehand, communicating their likes and dislikes as well as their physical and emotional boundaries and limits.

Sadomasochism encompasses a broad spectrum of practices, including but not limited to role-playing; dominance and submission; bondage and discipline; flagellation (spanking, slapping, paddling, whipping); sensory deprivation with the use of blindfolds, hoods, gags, and/or ear plugs; and body modification (permanent and nonpermanent piercing, cutting, branding)

Anal sex can be a very hot part of an Sadomasochism scene for many different reasons. Because it is already considered taboo, naughty, and forbidden, those attitudes can be exaggerated and played with in the context of an erotic encounter. My favorite way to combine Sadomasochism and anal play is to make her submit to it and then tell her what a bad girl she is for wanting it.

Sometimes I like to incorporate some of the taboos about ass-fucking into our dialogue during sex, like saying, "Oh, you're such a bad girl—only bad girls like getting it in the ass. How did you get s00000 naughty?"

For men and women interested in relinquishing control, letting someone else decide what goes on, or being told what to do by a top, anal sex provides a perfect activity of surrender. Others find that being anally penetrated is the ultimate experience of submission, yet still very safe because they can set the boundaries and be in control of the action.

I like anal sex because submitting to my partner this way is one of the ultimate gifts I can give her. It is something 1 crave and absolutely love, but it is also something that takes a great deal of trust for me to do.

Sadomasochism can also be an exploration of the limits of your body: how much you can give and take and for how long. Anal play and penetration can be an excellent manifestation of this metaphor.

It continues to amaze me that it feels really awesome, and that I can take a big butt plug, and that / like it so much. I also like being on the receiving end because...I love the aggressive side that comes out in her when she's fucking me in the ass.

Many people who practice Sadomasochism explore the power dynamics of dominance and submission. I like the idea of "forced" penetration. The idea of holding my lover down, with a knife to her throat, and forcing myself into her tight ass while verbally humiliating her and pinching her tits and slapping her...I love sensual and nonscene-oriented anal sex, too, but it is...the violation that really gets me off.

For people interested in incorporating anal sex into dominant-submissive role playing, it is especially important to negotiate your desires and boundaries with your partner. Keep in mind that if the mutually agreed upon use of force, bondage, or very hard fucking are involved in a scene with anal play, you should still go slowly and let the receptive partner take the lead. Sadomasochism practitioners often explore the edges of pleasure and pain, but these practices should never be conflated with the experience of anal sex. Anal sex should never be forced or painful even in the context of an Sadomasochism scene, because you can do damage to your partner's body. When anal sex is consensual and approached with patience, gentleness, and lots of lube, it can be an ecstatic part of Sadomasochism play.