Lubricants

Before I slide down this particular pole, let me reveal a bias: I am a firm believer that lube makes any sexual activity much more pleasurable. The wetter and slipperier everything is, the better. But lubricant is not just desirable; it's essential to any anal penetration. Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating.

During anal exploration of yourself or a partner, you might find that the anus feels wet. What you're feeling is a natural mucous secretion from the anal canal and maybe some sweat—but neither this nor spit provides enough wetness to do the trick. Beyond sneaking a finger a millimeter inside someone's ass, YOU NEED LUBE.

Besides, you're already using latex and don't want it to break or tear. Nonlubricated penetration causes friction and is likely to wreak havoc on both latex and the thin, delicate anal tissue. Lube makes entry smoother and easier for both partners reducing the chance of tearing, discomfort, or pain. When the person being penetrated is comfortable, she or he can relax more easily and usually have longer, more pleasurable anal sessions.

There are many different varieties of lubricants on the market, with the widest selections at adult bookstores, sex toy shops, and mail-order catalogs. You can also check out the major drug stores. The best thing to do is to buy some sample sizes of a few different brands and experiment with them to see what's right for you and your partner. Here's a description of some of the different types of lubes:

OIL-BASED LUBES

Crisco isn't just for baking cookies. Crisco is a longtime favorite lubricant of gay and bisexual men (and some women) who practice anal fisting. It's inexpensive, readily available at your local supermarket, and, since it's vegetable shortening, it naturally flushes out of the rectum. Oil-based lubes don't evaporate and dry up the way water-based lubes do. The most important thing to know about oil-based lubes is that they break down latex and can eventually create very small holes in your latex condoms, gloves, and dental dams, rendering them ineffective as barriers. Never use oil-based lubes with condoms worn by a male partner; if you use an oil-based lube with a condom over a toy, you still need to clean and disinfect the toy before and after play, because pinprick holes can allow body fluids to pass through the latex onto the toy. Latex gloves are usually thicker than condoms and break down less quickly in the presence of oil-based lubes; I recommend that if you use oil-based lubes with gloves, you change into a fresh glove every fifteen to twenty minutes. Even better, reserve their use for anal play by yourself or with a monogamous or fluid-bonded partner. Oil-based lubricants are harder to wash out of the body, and they should never be used in or around the vagina. They provide an opportune environment for bacteria and viruses to grow and thrive there.' Examples: Crisco, Vaseline, baby oil.

WATER-BASED "LIQUIDY" LUBES

These slick, wet lubes are nonirritating, nonstaining, odorless, and tasteless; they are very popular for vaginal sex because they have a very similar consistency to natural vaginal secretions and are easy to wash off toys and bodies. These lubes are thin and liquidy, and a little amount tends to go a long way. Some people complain that water-based lubes dry up fast, but you can simply add a little water or saliva to revive their powers. Most of these lubes can be found in sex toy stores and catalogs, and a few, like AstroGlide and K-Y's new liquid lube, often pop up at the chain drug stores. Examples: AstroGlide, Wet Light, Aqua Lube, Slippery Stuff, Probe Silky Light, Eros Bodyglide, KY Liquid.

WATER-BASED THICKER LUBES

These lubes have the same properties and advantages as their thinner counterparts. The only difference is in their consistency; they tend to feel more like hair gel or jelly. Many people like to use these thicker lubes for anal play because they provide extensive lubrication and tend to dry up less quickly than watery varieties. Examples: KY Jelly, Probe, ForPlay, Embrace, Elbow Grease, Wet, I-D.